Today marks 9 years since my brother Leon passed away.
Although he crosses my mind and my memories often, I think it's important to also intentionally remember. As I was getting pictures to post on this post, I felt bad that I didn't have any different pictures to post. Any new pictures. Kind of ironic. So, my new project between today and what would have been his birthday is to take some pictures of things that represented him and who he was and what he meant to me. And perhaps to scan more pictures that aren't on my computer yet.
When I think about Leon and his life and all of who he was, I feel the gaping hole inside. And sometimes it feels like it just keeps getting bigger. Yes, there's been healing and grieving, but there is still a part of me that is missing him. That nothing can replace here on earth. And it still hurts. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it shouldn't. But it does.
Some days I wish I could call him and talk. To hang out. To watch him and his friends interact. Sometimes I wonder what life would look like if he were still around. I can imagine great things and the amazing potential his life held. It still confounds me at time to understand God. Obviously I can't. And of course, I could tell myself nice little Christian answers, but when it comes down to it, I am still left puzzled and questioning.
I love that I have a nephew who carries his middle name. What a special way of carrying on Leon's spirit and his memory. And to celebrate a life lived fully. A life of good friendships, fun adventures, connections with others and an inspiring faith.
Missing you Leon.
Although he crosses my mind and my memories often, I think it's important to also intentionally remember. As I was getting pictures to post on this post, I felt bad that I didn't have any different pictures to post. Any new pictures. Kind of ironic. So, my new project between today and what would have been his birthday is to take some pictures of things that represented him and who he was and what he meant to me. And perhaps to scan more pictures that aren't on my computer yet.
When I think about Leon and his life and all of who he was, I feel the gaping hole inside. And sometimes it feels like it just keeps getting bigger. Yes, there's been healing and grieving, but there is still a part of me that is missing him. That nothing can replace here on earth. And it still hurts. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it shouldn't. But it does.
Some days I wish I could call him and talk. To hang out. To watch him and his friends interact. Sometimes I wonder what life would look like if he were still around. I can imagine great things and the amazing potential his life held. It still confounds me at time to understand God. Obviously I can't. And of course, I could tell myself nice little Christian answers, but when it comes down to it, I am still left puzzled and questioning.
I love that I have a nephew who carries his middle name. What a special way of carrying on Leon's spirit and his memory. And to celebrate a life lived fully. A life of good friendships, fun adventures, connections with others and an inspiring faith.Missing you Leon.
1 comment:
What a beautiful tribute... you had me in tears! Praying for you!
Amy
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