So I just realized that my title might make some of you wonder. Haha. This is the beginning of my twopart series. And I figured I would post today for the only three people who seem to read my blog. ha. or the only two people that comment- so this is dedicated to them. :)
First I will start with an awkward moment of the week:
Walking into the library I run into my friend's exboyfriend. Here's the dialogue that follows:
Him: So, I hear you want to kick me in the balls.
Me: No, I'd rather punch. Then I could use more force.
Yay for awkwardness!
Okay, so I have been thinking a lot lately. I used to be really conservative black and white and then shifted to the other side where anything was okay and I drifted away a lot from my previously held convictions. However, I'm stuck at a hard place right now, because I'm coming back from the other extreme, but I'm not sure where the balance in the middle is. How do you stay true to what you personally think is right for you without having others thing you are judging them?
Oh and disclaimer: nothing in this post is mean as judging or anything as such.. just my thoughts and i'd appreciate yours back..
First topic would be alcohol. I like to have a drink or two here and there and enjoy it. When I was in high school I viewed alcohol really negatively, but as the years have passed I have become a lot more leniant. Personally I don't agree with drunkenness, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a drink or two. But where is the line to be drawn?
I find it interesting to watch people who have drinks to loosen up or to relax or to make themselves do something they would otherwise not do (ex. dance in front of people). For some it becomes a confidence booster, lowering their inhibitions, allowing them to do something fun that they wouldn't do with as much ease before because perhaps they'd be concerned about how others would view them. A bit of alcohol might take that concern away. Some drink to drown their sorrows because it eases the pain. Now there are a host of other reasons as well.
I do certain things to relax and dont' think there's anything inherently wrong with it. So is alcohol appropriate for this category? Is alcohol in moderation a good coping tool? Is it good to lower one's inhibitions so one doesn't worry about what others think? I'm not saying yes or no to any of these things but am rather just throwing these thoughts out there. Where's the line? Are there other ways of achieving these same things? So why alcohol?
Once again, not saying alcohol or drinking alcohol is wrong, because I do. This is just something I have been thinking about for myself.. the why behind it I guess. Why do I choose to drink when I do? Is it for the right reasons?
I'm in a bit of a tough place because I go to a university that says we cannot drink alcohol. We signed a covenant saying we would not drink while attending Trinity. I have broken this and so have most other people. most would laugh at it and say it's a stupid rule. While I agree that it should be changed and modified, I wonder if the "silliness" of the rule is proper grounds for me to not adhere to it? My personal integrity is something that is called into question through it. Lately I have realized my integrity is lacking in some areas and it is something I want to pursue. I want to be a woman of integrity. Tough place to be in... For now, I think I am going to abstain from alcohol during the semester. Not saying everyone should, but that's just me where I'm at right now.
Anyway, those are my ramblings for now. Hope nobody is offended because that is not the intent at all. More just to get people thinking I guess. Sometimes this can be a touchy subject because there are such diverse viewpoints on it. And I want to say that whatever someone's behavior or attitude is towards it, I respect that and welcome your feedback.
Thanks for reading! Back to my paper on sexuality and spirituality for the single person... (perhaps i'll post my thoughts on that sometime too!) Hope this post was thought-provoking in some sense...
7 comments:
interesting. That definitely was thought provoking. I've often thought of the same issue and still am not totally sure where I stand.
Yay for having a post dedicated to me as one of the 3 commenters!
And as a reply to your comment on my blog - I've been meaning to update for a long time but every time I sit down I just don't feel like it. Today might be a good day because I have a paper to work on so I'll be finding as many ways as possible to procrastinate!
Tricky questions. I've often thought about the rule at Trinity and I know many people who have broken it and don't really seem to care. I think the answer then is to take a stand and try and have the rule changed/modified. Integrity is something I've been thinking about alot as well, since having kids. I want my word to mean something, I want Kyra & Jayce to know that my yes is yes and my no is no. So in that regard, the way I am thinking now I either wouldn't sign the contract at Trinity or I would do as you are and abstain from alcohol for the semester.
In terms of using alcohol to loosen up - I don't know what the right answer is. That seems a bit of a slippery slope to me but that depends on the person. I also enjoy a drink now & again and I have used it on occasion to help me relax some. Again, that doesn't seem wrong to me, but somebody who is predisposed to having an addiction(whole other conversation) could do that and not know how to stop.
Something to consider too is why do we consider alcohol such a taboo thing? It's no all bad, "everything in moderation", right? So why do we question what we're doing with alcohol? Because we feel guilty about what we're doing? Then we need to reexamine that situation. If it's just because it's ingrained that alcohol is "evil" and should never be touched, well that's not all true either.
This is turning into a really, really long comment and should probably be meant for a face-to-face conversation. Maybe one of these days we can go for a walk together!:)
Hope you get your paper done tonight. Thanks for continuing to blog!
To start with I would like to say that I regularly read your blogs, especially since you hooked me up on bloglines (love it btw). But rarely do I comment, which I guess I should do more of. I just like finding out what going on in your life.
Anyways, with regards to the questioning the alcohol topic, as you know it is something I have also tried to work through, especially while I was in Quebec. And it's funny now that I am free to drink as I wish, I don't do it as much, perhaps it is my rebellous nature that was kicking in there, but I do understand the need to have a drink once and a while to loosen up. That was generally when we would back there, as life seemed to be a little crazy and the break was nice. But I have found that there I times I would enjoy a drink or two and not feel guilty, but also times when I would feel guilty and I think it would all come down to why I was wanting to have the drink. Was it to escape what I was going through, or was it just because. And I have found that to be my guiding principle as I enjoy my drink from time to time. I'm not saying that it is right or not right, but definitely something we all have to work through to find our own balance.
Thanks for your thoughts and the thoughts of others. I look forward to the on going hearing more of what you are learning.
Hi Vanessa. I'm a new commenter, but i have been following your blog for a couple of months now! i started my own blog back in september. it's a private blog, but i'd like for you to be able to view it if you'd like! shiebert@msn.com
just let me know and i can hook you up! your blogs are always very 'deep in thought' and i enjoy reading them. Mine are more surfacy and just about what's happening with the fam. Being related and all, you might care to follow us along the way!
don't have any strong opinions on the alchohol topic, never really been in a place where i needed to think about it too much... i'm not opposed to having a few drinks, but i haven't in years as i worry that my kids might need me and i won't be in a place to tend to them or drive them somewhere.. because i never do anymore, one drink get's me pretty 'relaxed'.. i wouldn't drive. but yah, my husband enjoys his beer, but only drinks when he's happy. if he's feeling down, he says alcohol just brings him into a depressing state. anyways, not much to say on the subject!
I'm still reading and definitely love to hear(er...read) your thoughts and opinions!
Hey, look at all the comments you got! This is a topic that everyone needs to work through for themselves, but whatever you decide, it should not be a stumbling block for other believers. I have no problem with an occasional glass of wine with dinner, but if I'm around certain people who I know have decided never to touch a drop of alcohol, I abstain. Can you imagine if drinking was allowed at TWU, how would the university monitor it? Where would they draw the line? How far would some students go with it? What kinds of problems could arise? Better not to start down that slippery slope at all. I admire you for being a deep thinker and wrestling through these topics!
Vanessa, I read your blog as well. I don't comment often because I just rarely comment on blogs, but I do read it. Thank you for your post. I think that its issues are issues that many struggle with and are struggling with. Living as people of integrity is a hard thing to do when the world we live in is drawn to sinning. And we are no different. We are drawn to sin, but we also have been drawn to Christ, and I think that if our desire is to be like Christ, then the logistics aren't all the same for all people. Thanks for your post though. Very thought provoking.
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