Today I went to the funeral of my great aunt, Tante Mika. She was my Oma's older sister and she passed away suddenly last Wednesday morning. It was amazing to see the legacy of love and faith that she left behind. I remember every time I would see her, she would just be so welcoming, loving and caring. She will be missed by many.
At the funeral, I was overwhelmed with a mix of grief from the loss of my Oma and Opa. When they passed away, I was kind of out of it. My brother and Dad had passed away the year and a half before and so it didn't really impact me, because I already felt overwhelmed in my grief. Today though it was really freeing to be able to cry and grieve for the loss of my grandparents as well. It made me really really miss them actually and it made it even sink in more that they're gone. I don't know that I've ever given myself a chance to fully grieve their deaths, but it was good today to start. But sad and emotionally draining all at once. We sang some of the same hymns as at my Oma's funeral which always reaffirms in my heart the truth of the words I'm singing, but I have to be continually questioning myself as to whether or not I believe them. I am assured that they are true despite my logic and my feelings at times and I must cling to those truths and allow God to show them to me.
Tonight I had my youth girls over for a pizza/pool party which was pretty fun. The evening and the sunset were amazing as well.
And now I'm off to bed! Hope the last 44 minutes of March go well. (Still wondering where October, November, December, January, February and March went...)
1 comment:
Awww, I have fond memories of your Oma and Tante Mika too.....they were wonderful Mennonite Omas. You are very wise when you say that you believe the words of the hymns in spite of your feelings. No matter what happens, no matter how your feelings try to entangle you, stand firmly on your faith in Christ, the solid rock!
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