Spices, Sky, Seeds

Side note: I love the sky. So dispersed throughout this post are some lovely photos with lovely horizons for your personal enjoyment :) End Side Note.

 I love organizing. Some may call it OCD.. but I call it a love for organizing. 

Today I started the task of organizing the pantry in the kitchen, because
a) it stresses me out and overhwhelms me every time I open it
b) it bothers me that the items in the pantry aren't in proper categories on differing shelves
c) I want to know what's actually in the pantry

I'm about a third done, but the thing that brought me the most joy today was organizing the spice drawers. Because in it, I found four jars of mustard seed, four jars of dried mint, three bags full of nutmeg (in its original form) from some Caribbean country, seven different types of sea salt, five different flavours of black peppercorns, six packs of different thai blends... I could go on, but you get the picture. 

The reason I took such joy in this was mostly because it's such a beautiful representation of my mom. She is one who loves to try new things, introduce others to new things, take every opportunity at living life to the full as she can, making things as tasty and pleasurable as possible and blessing others. All this from some spices. In the mix of items she has, not only in her spice rack, I see again the confirmation of her generous and loving spirit, ready to bless others and take care of them. Whether it's cooking an incredible feast or sharing her latest new spice with a friend at the kitchen table, my mom has always been right in there.  Great reminders today as I spent time in the pantry.. now if only I can figure out what in the world to do with four jars of mustard seed... 

My schedule used to be crammed full. Too full. I was always super busy, whether it was working, school, hanging out with friends, travelling, going on adventures, or perhaps even a combination of things. This season of my life is completely different in that I have no plans every single day of the week. I used to have to book coffee dates with friends two months in advance. And now I'm home with no plans and people can drop in whenever. And it's nice. My body and mind are taking a while to get accustomed though. Every night I feel stress rising and think to myself "what are all the plans I have for tomorrow".. and then I remember "nothing" and that my day will be at home with my mom and what a beautiful thing.  In the midst of caring for someone else, it's such a huge blessing to have so much free time and down time, to read, write, pray, make puzzles, blog, enjoy cooking, clean out the pantry... Continually challenging myself to be intentional with how I spend my time. 

On my quest to read all my books (35 by 35), I have been reading (go figure).  One book I just finished (but know I will keep coming back to) is 'A Grief Observed' by C.S. Lewis. Such wisdom as he gives us a picture into his own grief journey. Very rich indeed.  I will leave you with a smattering of quotes to ponder:

“It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on.”

“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, hoever, turns out to be not a state but a process.”

“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.”

“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” 

”Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape. . . [but] not every bend does.Sometimes the surprise is the opposite one; you are presented with exactly the same sort of country you thought you had left behind miles ago. That is when you wonder whether the valley isn’t a circular trench. But it isn’t.”

“We cannot understand. The best is perhaps what we understand least.” 

“Feelings, and feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead.” 

 ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed