Pain, Presence, Perfected

Pain. It's an ugly word to many. It's something we try to avoid or fix or get rid of.  It is a topic I come back to often. Pain brings with it a lot of emotions that are quite messy and not so pretty. 

But the more I think about pain and observe it in my life, the more I start to like it and embrace it. Pain is a place where I meet God in the most beautiful, gentle, intimate way. Pain is a place where I can connect and weep with others. Pain is an experience where God's glory and character can shine. Pain is a place where God is present and where Jesus meets me. Would I wish away pain from my life? Even the most agonizing, difficult moments? Never. It is a beautiful thing and the better I become acquainted with pain, the more I desire to be in friendship with it and make the most of our relationship. 

Recently I asked the question, "Does a life of following God mean pain?" Some would suggest that to live is to experience pain. There are so many ways in which I could avoid or cover up my pain yet being in relationship with God requires me to face it. Sometimes I feel like God has created a space in my life for pain to come. 

Until I recognize the beauty and value of pain however, I will simply feel attacked by God. As I'm growing in this, I feel greatly blessed. That I can grow and be transformed. That I can meet God intimately. That the beauty and life that God creates out of my pain will be far greater than the pain ever could have been. 

I cannot allow myself to think that life consists solely of pain, although it is tempting in those moments where the hole of pain in one's insides feels bottomless. When I step back, there is so much beauty, blessing and richness to behold and celebrate that I begin to see how God is weaving my story together in a way that is far greater than my hurts and pains. I don't want to miss out on the story. 

So, the other day when I asked God if following Him meant pain, the answers I received included:

"Yes, I'm making it into something beautiful."

"Yes, and I am with you, Emmanuel."

"Yes and I am doing something beyond anything you could ever fathom"

"Yes and I will weep with you"

"Yes and I'm holding you tightly and carrying you."

"Yes and you can trust me." 

"Yes, but your life is not limited to pain-there is a depth of richness and beauty present therein"

So I will continue to grow in embracing pain and lean into God fully and completely, trusting that God is doing an incredible transformation in and through me, as God is glorified and His character revealed. He is making something beautiful.