Awkward, Abstinence, Alcohol

So I just realized that my title might make some of you wonder. Haha. This is the beginning of my twopart series. And I figured I would post today for the only three people who seem to read my blog. ha. or the only two people that comment- so this is dedicated to them. :)

First I will start with an awkward moment of the week:

Walking into the library I run into my friend's exboyfriend. Here's the dialogue that follows:
Him: So, I hear you want to kick me in the balls.
Me: No, I'd rather punch. Then I could use more force.

Yay for awkwardness!

Okay, so I have been thinking a lot lately. I used to be really conservative black and white and then shifted to the other side where anything was okay and I drifted away a lot from my previously held convictions. However, I'm stuck at a hard place right now, because I'm coming back from the other extreme, but I'm not sure where the balance in the middle is. How do you stay true to what you personally think is right for you without having others thing you are judging them?

Oh and disclaimer: nothing in this post is mean as judging or anything as such.. just my thoughts and i'd appreciate yours back..

First topic would be alcohol. I like to have a drink or two here and there and enjoy it. When I was in high school I viewed alcohol really negatively, but as the years have passed I have become a lot more leniant. Personally I don't agree with drunkenness, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a drink or two. But where is the line to be drawn?

I find it interesting to watch people who have drinks to loosen up or to relax or to make themselves do something they would otherwise not do (ex. dance in front of people). For some it becomes a confidence booster, lowering their inhibitions, allowing them to do something fun that they wouldn't do with as much ease before because perhaps they'd be concerned about how others would view them. A bit of alcohol might take that concern away. Some drink to drown their sorrows because it eases the pain. Now there are a host of other reasons as well.

I do certain things to relax and dont' think there's anything inherently wrong with it. So is alcohol appropriate for this category? Is alcohol in moderation a good coping tool? Is it good to lower one's inhibitions so one doesn't worry about what others think? I'm not saying yes or no to any of these things but am rather just throwing these thoughts out there. Where's the line? Are there other ways of achieving these same things? So why alcohol?

Once again, not saying alcohol or drinking alcohol is wrong, because I do. This is just something I have been thinking about for myself.. the why behind it I guess. Why do I choose to drink when I do? Is it for the right reasons?

I'm in a bit of a tough place because I go to a university that says we cannot drink alcohol. We signed a covenant saying we would not drink while attending Trinity. I have broken this and so have most other people. most would laugh at it and say it's a stupid rule. While I agree that it should be changed and modified, I wonder if the "silliness" of the rule is proper grounds for me to not adhere to it? My personal integrity is something that is called into question through it. Lately I have realized my integrity is lacking in some areas and it is something I want to pursue. I want to be a woman of integrity. Tough place to be in... For now, I think I am going to abstain from alcohol during the semester. Not saying everyone should, but that's just me where I'm at right now.

Anyway, those are my ramblings for now. Hope nobody is offended because that is not the intent at all. More just to get people thinking I guess. Sometimes this can be a touchy subject because there are such diverse viewpoints on it. And I want to say that whatever someone's behavior or attitude is towards it, I respect that and welcome your feedback.

Thanks for reading! Back to my paper on sexuality and spirituality for the single person... (perhaps i'll post my thoughts on that sometime too!) Hope this post was thought-provoking in some sense...